


I Didn't Say I Was Nervous

by ladymac111



Series: And The Rest Is History [3]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Eloping, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Marriage Proposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-07
Updated: 2015-12-07
Packaged: 2018-05-05 10:02:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5371190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladymac111/pseuds/ladymac111
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock and John leave for Gretna Green, but there's a lot they haven't said.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Didn't Say I Was Nervous

**Author's Note:**

> Shiny new version! Fully rewritten 6 December 2015 to fix character and setting issues. Original version published August 2012.

Sherlock paid quickly when they got out of the cab, and John scrambled to keep up with him as he strode purposefully into Euston Station in the middle of the morning rush hour. "Hey, Sherlock! At least take your bag!"

Sherlock stopped so short that John almost collided with him. "Sorry." He took the bag, but seemed distracted as they took off walking again.

"What's going on with you today?"

"Nothing. I'm fine."

John sighed. "Look, Sherlock, I get that this is weird. God knows it's even weirder for me. But you could at least not act like you're trying to run away from me."

"I'm not trying to run away from you." His steps slowed, and John reached his side again. "I'm just ... I'm sorry. It is weird, and I didn't think it would be but I don't know what to do about it, exactly."

"It's okay to be nervous," John said, trying to sound reassuring. "I'm nervous too."

"I didn't say I was nervous."

"That doesn't mean you're not."

Sherlock didn't answer, but gave him a meaningful look before he pulled their tickets out of his pocket to check which platform they needed to go to. They arrived just in time, and had barely found seats before the train pulled away.

It wasn't terribly crowded, and they had two facing pairs of seats with a table between to themselves. John dropped his duffel bag on one window seat, then took the one opposite himself. Sherlock put his bag on top of John's, then hesitated. "Are you hungry?"

John looked away from the London scenery that was beginning to go past. "A bit, yeah. I didn't think to bring anything for breakfast."

"I'll go get us something, if you want."

John couldn't help smiling at him, and was gratified to see his cheeks go a little pink. "That would be nice, thanks. And a coffee?"

"Of course." He shrugged out of his coat, dropped it on the seat beside their bags, then after a moment to orient himself went off in search of breakfast.

John let the motion of the train lull him into a sleepy trance as he watched the city go by, and had started to doze off by the time Sherlock returned fifteen minutes later.

"John, wake up."

Suddenly there was a smell of coffee, and he blinked his eyes open to see the cup on the table in front of him. "I wasn't asleep."

There was an amused huff, and Sherlock sat down in the seat beside him. "The cooked options looked horrid so I just got a couple of pains au chocolat."

"That'll work." He picked up the coffee and tried to take a sip, but scalded the tip of his tongue. Sherlock had set the bag of pastries on the table, then wrapped his fingers around the coffee cup and simply held it silently as he stared vacantly at the seat across from him.

After a long pause, John cleared his throat. "Aren't you going to eat one?"

Sherlock shook his head. "Not hungry."

"Then why'd you get two?"

Sherlock shrugged, pulled the lid off his coffee -- already lightened with cream -- and stared at that instead.

The silence stretched again, until John finally sighed. "This is ridiculous, Sherlock."

He looked up at that. "What is?"

"This." He gestured between them. "Us not talking, being ... awkward."

Sherlock didn't say anything to that, but looked away again.

"We can't ... we can't pretend we're here for a different reason than we are, can we?"

"What do you want me to do?" Sherlock murmured.

"You could start by acting like you want to be here."

He sat up, leaned away, suddenly defensive. "Of course I want to be here."

"You're not acting like it. You've barely looked at me today."

Sherlock looked in his coffee again. "Sorry."

"You're doing it again, Sherlock."

He rolled his eyes and made a full-body gesture of frustration. " _Sorry_! But I don't understand what it is you want me to _do._ "

John gritted his teeth, but his words burst out anyway, without the benefit of being measured beforehand. "I want you to act like you're  _happy_ . I want you to  _be_ happy! In case you forgot, yesterday you asked me to marry you, and I said yes, and now we're eloping." He looked Sherlock straight in the eye and lowered his voice slightly. "Today is our  _wedding day_ , Sherlock. Usually people are happy about that."

"I  _am_ happy."

"I can't tell, though! Right now it just kind of feels ... like a mistake."

A look of mild fear came over Sherlock, and he leaned a little closer. "It's not a mistake, John. I do want this, I really do, more than anything. I'm just ... I'm  _overwhelmed_ ."

"Look, I know you're bad with the sentimental stuff, but you're not usually this bad."

"Nothing has ever mattered this much," he said earnestly. "I'm so terrified I'm going to do something to screw this up. And hey, wow, looks like I actually am. Last night's spell is broken and any minute now you're going to realize what's going on and leave me."

"Oh, Sherlock." It clicked for John suddenly, and he laid his hand over Sherlock's, which was gripping the edge of the table; Sherlock tensed but didn't pull away. "How long have we known each other?"

Sherlock paused for a moment. "Um ... five years, I think?"

"I know you by now. I know what I'm getting into. And even though we're taking things pretty fast, it doesn't feel like it, it feels ... I don't know, it almost feels ... inevitable."

Sherlock nodded, looking slightly astonished. "I feel it too."

John's grip on Sherlock's hand tightened, and he licked his lips, gathering his courage. "From the first time we met I knew that ... that I couldn't see my life without you. And I know now that I've loved you for quite some time."

Sherlock's eyes were wide. "You've never said that to me before."

John let out a nervous laugh. "Well, it is a special occasion."

"I love you too."

John's heart swelled, and he was overcome with a sense of relief he wasn't expecting. "I know."

Sherlock gave him a tentative smile. "There's, um. There's something I've been meaning to ask you." He looked at their hands and laced his fingers gently with John's before looking up at him again. "If you don't mind."

John smiled back, though he looked a little uncertain. "What is it?"

Sherlock bit his lip, then spoke a bit more quickly than he'd meant to. "I want to kiss you."

John almost laughed. "I was wondering when you would."

Sherlock looked slightly annoyed. "Well I've wanted to for  _years_ but only just got up the courage to say so."

John squeezed his hand. "I wish you'd have told me sooner."

"It doesn't matter now." He leaned in, glanced at John's lips. "I ... I'm afraid I'm a bit out of practice. And I don't think I was ever very good, if I'm honest."

"I don't care." John moved his hand from the table to the side of Sherlock's face, and they leaned into a gentle press of lips.

Sherlock sighed as they parted, and John smiled. "You're not bad."

Sherlock gave him a crooked grin. "Shut up and kiss me again."

Their second kiss was firmer, more sure, and after a few seconds they broke apart with a little gasp. "God, you are actually quite good."

"Come on."

"No, really, I mean it. You make like you're some never-been-kissed virgin but I know you're not, even if it has been a while."

Sherlock turned pink and ducked his chin towards his collar. "It's been a  _long_ time. I'm just glad it's not too weird for you."

"Why would it be weird for me?"

Sherlock made his it's-obvious face. "Because I'm a man."

John almost laughed. "I take it back, you are innocent. I've kissed boys before, Sherlock."

"You what?"

"I mean, I've never had a boyfriend, or done anything beyond kissing, but, yeah. Not my first time. Just been a while, like you." He rubbed his neck, which was starting to prickle with embarrassment. "Though I'd really rather not talk about my past?"

"It's right now that matters," Sherlock agreed, catching his hand again and holding it gently. "John?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you marry me?"

To John's surprise, his heart fluttered and it took him a moment to find his voice. "Yes, of course I will. Of course."

Sherlock's face split into a broad grin, and John couldn't help but kiss him again. This one was longer yet, and Sherlock was trying not to pant when they finally parted.

"So, um," John said, when he got his words back, "did you make plans for us or anything?"

Sherlock shook his head. "I didn't think I needed to. Eloping, right? I figured we'd just show up. I imagine they see a lot of this sort of thing."

"I imagine they might, yeah. I suppose you didn't book a hotel either?"

"I'm sure we'll be able to find something."

"As long as we can get checked in right away. I went to all the trouble of packing that suit, I want to be sure I'm wearing it."

Sherlock grinned at him. "I'll make sure." He glanced at the table then, and noticed his coffee. "Oh, right, breakfast."

John picked up his own coffee. "Hungry now?"

"Yeah, I feel better." He picked up the bag of pastries. "Thank you, by the way."

"What? For what?"

"For making us talk."

"Don't expect me to make a habit of it though, you'll have to talk to me once in a while too."

Sherlock's eyes sparkled. "Okay."

John hid his smile behind the coffee lid and took a sip -- just right.

 


End file.
